Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
His hands were made for my vagina.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
