Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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