I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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