It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
