I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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