I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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