So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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