i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
