i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
