Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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