just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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