he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
