we have pet lesbian snakes
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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