I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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