Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
is that a dick in a sweater?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
