remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
