Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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