Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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