Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
