i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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