come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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