just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
