turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
