Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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