Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
