Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
