Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
