party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
