Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
