I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
