It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
