Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Congratulations! We have a period
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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