Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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