The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
