Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
