how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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