Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
