It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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