your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
do herpes really smell.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
