i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
