In the future we'll all be gay
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
