5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
