Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
