We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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