you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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