no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
