new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
