My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
