oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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