I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
