that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
