Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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