Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
