oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
